Where is the balance?

I have a girlfriend who tells me I do not hear her out. She tells me I am not fair and she wants equality in our relationship. We have continued to build on this mental tug of war of sorts for some time now. While it continues to be a high priority and consumer of our time on a weekly basis. On one hand, I ask myself am I that destructive? Am I that overwhelming of a person that I am suppressing her ideas and making her feel that what she says does not matter. On the other hand, I ask myself is she over sensitive and emotionally imbalanced? How do I make sense of all of this? Where is the line drawn in the sand that neither of us will cross to make the other feel like they are continually making a mistake or being pron to more error.

I grew up in a single parent home where my mother told me what was to be done and I did it. I had very little say so in the decision making process of my early life. I was brought up on the idea that things are black and white, and the gray area is a place where you do not want to be. Then there is my girlfriend, she grew up liberal and in a place where there was more freedom and more posturing for the child. Moreover, I have always been taught conservative means of living and traditional boundaries in male female relations.

Now at the turn of the year 2010 with 2011 a few months away, I find myself challenged by this relationship to find equal bearings and ground to stand on that will make the both of us comfortable. You see because my girlfriend looks to me to be the leader of our dealings, but she also wants balance to have an input into those same dealings. I love her, so I am left to search within while revealing an external side that is equal and suitable for two. Where is the balance?