The Balancing Act of Life: A few words of remembrance about my friend Brandon (1983-2016)

December 18, 2016

By: Ethan Brisby

When I woke up yesterday, everything felt good. I even managed to convince a friend to cook me breakfast. I drove over to her house and as we finished, she started telling me about the type of home she wanted built. Eventually, I found myself driving around Wellborn, Texas looking for lots that are at least half an acre in size. It was during this time, I got a call that threw the rest of my day into a tailspin.

My cousin in San Antonio called me and said, “Brandon has shot hisself in the head.” He preceded to tell me he was about thirty minutes away from his house, but was on his way. We hung up the phone, and I mentioned to my friend what the call had been about. We immediately headed back toward her townhome so I could begin to assess what was going on.

I called Brandon, no answer. So I called another friend who lives in the San Antonio area. He answered and let me know he was indeed at Brandon’s house and the story was true. I began crying right then and there. About 18 months ago Brandon talked with me about starting his own trucking company. I told him what I would do, and how I would do it from a pure business standpoint. Six months later, we talked again and he was hyped up,” E, I’m about to hit the road in January. I got my own stuff going!”As any friend would be, I was elated. 

Then about six months later, Brandon called and with the same zeal he always had, he told me, “E man I am about to let this business go, find a job at a bank, and I’m going back to college to finish my accounting degree.” Brandon and I along with two others from my high school were part of a cohort in 2001 that started college at the University of Houston. He was my road dog when we were weekend warriors during high school and into our early 20s. He was one of the first people I hired when I made manager at Pizza Hut during our senior year at Bryan High. So when he told me this, just like when anyone else shared their hopes and dreams, I encouraged him and told him how I would do it based on my experiences. I always encourage people to shake things up and try new approaches.

This time, Brandon, 33 did not follow through. The next time we talked he was singing a different song. Maybe he could not get walking away from so much money to make sense to his inner circle. Maybe he just wasn’t up for the risk himself. But somewhere along the lines he went from confidently about to tackle yet another goal to methodically staying with what was working for the time being. He’d keep calling me. Usually when he was on the road delivering exotic cars to car lots all over Texas. Then around summer 2016, I ran into a tough spot financially after losing two big contracts in the same week.

I was forced to ask to borrow money in order to make a big transition in July. Brandon told me he was not in position to help me as did two other friends before I finally got the help I needed. I selfishly decided that I would shutout the friends who did not loan me the money I needed. In my eyes, I’d always been there for them helping to make tough decisions and lending my advice for their business ventures. So I felt let down and to me it didn’t balance out. So the last time I talked to Brandon was this summer when he let me know he wasn’t going to be able to help me.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to speak to Brandon again. He checked out on December 17, 2016. Moral of the story is we/I/you have to do better. We have to let the little things including pride and rejection go. There is a melodic balancing act we have to master during our brief time here on earth. I pray that everyone who Brandon touched will find wisdom, strength, and motivation to live out their dreams like Brandon was attempting to do. He did it so gracefully. He was becoming so much wiser in his 30s. I remember him hitting that jig as he walked across the stage during high school graduation.

Rest In Peace Chee!