"This is a man's world..."
I wrote this piece in July, and had my reservations with posting due to the graphic nature of some of the language used in quotes and commentary to get the message across. This post is rated PG-13.
"I know it's tight, but it's right!"
As
far back as seventh grade, I can remember being a listening ear to a female. I
had a girlfriend at that age, but her best friend seemed to always be the one
that had me on the phone listening to her boy problems. It was then I began
developing a heart for the situations women put themselves in, and
understanding why the art of being a lady is challenging at best.
One
of the ladies in this generationally influenced survey told me a while back that
all women go through what she calls a “hoe stage.” Similarly, I once heard a
close male friend notorious for chasing tail say that “all women have an inner
whore.” Is this where bad girls come from? 
She
has a decision to make. Will she go with what likely has been fed to her as the
lady-like thing to do; treat her body with respect, reserving it only for
commitment? Or does she realize that her deeds are rather acceptable by the
masses and go for the gusto? I believe once a man or a woman experiences sex,
it is a thrill they seek out for the rest of their lives in one way shape or
fashion. Sex drive is like a Honda Accord, it may slow down, but it will get
many, many miles before going out of service.
What
I learned from my little impromptu survey is that “bad girls” are just like
“bad boys.” They get infected by the evil in the world; sex, drugs, and the
love of money. I say evil, because I was raised conservative Christian, which
means sex outside of marriage is sexually immoral. This is not me merely
judging, but rather me reiterating what I was taught and questioning the pulse
of my sub-culture.
Personally,
I’ve learned it’s about how a man or a woman responds to what he or she learns
about themselves and the world we’ve inherited. Inevitably temptation will
arise and 80% of us are likely to put our hands in the cookie jar especially
with the level of connectivity and access we have now. Debauchery is
widespread. It’s when we go back for more cookies and are metaphorically
speaking, willing to even steal or do anything for cookies that we embark into
the snare of the bad side. I was told, your body is a temple and you should
treat it with respect.
-EB
IS IT
TOO LATE FOR OUR GIRLS? OR NAH
By
Ethan J. Brisby
@ethanbrisby
IG: comfortablyliving1As
far back as seventh grade, I can remember being a listening ear to a female. I
had a girlfriend at that age, but her best friend seemed to always be the one
that had me on the phone listening to her boy problems. It was then I began
developing a heart for the situations women put themselves in, and
understanding why the art of being a lady is challenging at best.
“WHEN A GOOD GIRL GOES BAD, SHE’S GONE
FOREVER.”
Recently,
I text the above statement to 13 women, and asked them to respond on a scale of
1-10 with how true this proclamation is. The answers ranged from “that’s false”
to 10, which was not too surprising. What was surprising is the majority of
responses were 7 and better. This led me to wonder, what a bad girl is and how
does a female become one.
First
of all, I believe the terms Ladies and Gentlemen are synonymous for a reason. A
Gentlemen prefers a Lady, just like the street-level Thug will wind up with a
Hood Rat, and Players seem to end up with Bitches. The averages say I am right
on that. But the more important question is what’s happened to the art of being a lady? A lady is a female
human being able to guard against unwanted intruders, she is graceful, loyal,
and takes pride in her values. The upper echelon of ladies lead quiet lives, away
from the pull of popular culture.
Some of
the women in my text survey, I consider to be ladies, if not all of them. It’s
just that I am led to believe their responses are a mirror of how they feel
about their own plight in the game of life. One of the telling responses was a
recently married lady friend of mine. She said she considers herself reformed.
So as to say she was a bad girl who made it back to the other side once she
married. Contrarily, one woman resolved that the statement was true at a level
10. I respect her bluntness.
My
friends I surveyed range in age from 28-37, one married, two single mothers,
all with at least some college. Here’s the raw data:
Mean:
6.3
Median:
7
Mode:
8, 5
W/O Highest/Lowest: 6.57
*Scores:
1 5 5 5 7 8 8 8 10
*11
total responses, but two had to be thrown out b/c respondent did not use a
number to describe her answer.
WHY DO GOOD GIRLS TURN BAD?
One
of the ladies in this generationally influenced survey told me a while back that
all women go through what she calls a “hoe stage.” Similarly, I once heard a
close male friend notorious for chasing tail say that “all women have an inner
whore.” Is this where bad girls come from?
I
think not, because that “inner whore” on average used to be reserved for the
marriage bed or at least a consistent relationship. I believe popular culture
has commercialized the “hoe stage,” thus extending it long past the occasional
drunken sex, two or three rounds of dating, a few one night stands, and then
eventually marriage. Now the “hoe stage” can get her things it did not used to
get the average girl or woman. As a
result, women are aggressively playing the field, longer. Is this where bad
girls come from?
For
the liberated women making her own money, she likely believes she deserves to
play rather than relegate herself to the role of wife at an early age. Which
brings me to my next round of questions: For
the sophisticated modern woman, is the status, “Wife” a downgrade? Or is it
something you want so bad you’ll do anything to get it, including tap into your
“inner whore” for all husband candidates? After years of intimate conversation,
I believe a good portion of good girls gone bad have faced grave levels of
emotional distress, leading to reactive behavior such as, “if men do it (cheat,
run game, ect.), so can I.”
DO GOOD GIRLS TURN BAD BECAUSE GUYS LEAD
THEM THAT WAY?
Where
I am from, any pretty girl is fair game. This speaks to the point that the
majority of pretty girls and women are subjective to a blitz of boys and men
“trying to holla.” Eventually one guy touches her perhaps literally and
figuratively in a way that she decides to give the wild side a try. When she
does, at that very moment she is in limbo.
She
has a decision to make. Will she go with what likely has been fed to her as the
lady-like thing to do; treat her body with respect, reserving it only for
commitment? Or does she realize that her deeds are rather acceptable by the
masses and go for the gusto? I believe once a man or a woman experiences sex,
it is a thrill they seek out for the rest of their lives in one way shape or
fashion. Sex drive is like a Honda Accord, it may slow down, but it will get
many, many miles before going out of service.
Back
to the question, is it guys who create bad girls or is the above assertion true
that when girls become women, they inevitably unleash their “inner whore,” even
if for a short while? The most common answers for my survey were 5 and 8. Most
of the fives said that it depends on the woman if she goes bad forever. Is it a growing stage for some and a learned
lifestyle for others?
What
I learned from my little impromptu survey is that “bad girls” are just like
“bad boys.” They get infected by the evil in the world; sex, drugs, and the
love of money. I say evil, because I was raised conservative Christian, which
means sex outside of marriage is sexually immoral. This is not me merely
judging, but rather me reiterating what I was taught and questioning the pulse
of my sub-culture.
I’ve
been able to maintain cordial and endearing relationships with many women and
ladies alike, because I respect the notion of abstinence and purity for myself,
and have waited until the commitment stage (not in words, but in actions) before
tapping into the sex emotion. I know it is rather ironic for me to make such a
claim considering I have an eleven year old son, but what’s true is true. Am I a
bad boy for having a child out of wedlock?
Personally,
I’ve learned it’s about how a man or a woman responds to what he or she learns
about themselves and the world we’ve inherited. Inevitably temptation will
arise and 80% of us are likely to put our hands in the cookie jar especially
with the level of connectivity and access we have now. Debauchery is
widespread. It’s when we go back for more cookies and are metaphorically
speaking, willing to even steal or do anything for cookies that we embark into
the snare of the bad side. I was told, your body is a temple and you should
treat it with respect.
To
the women from my survey and all woman, thank you: There is a disciplined lady
who lives inside you. She wants to live a life as well. Do not allow the Bad Girl
in you to suffocate the Lady who may bring greater good into the world.
Love.
Peace. & Hair Grease,
E
P.S.
Answer the questions in bold from the essay in the comment box below, or email
me at comfortablyliving@gmail.com
Comments
Post a Comment